Passion Defined

My Story For His Glory

We have talked a lot about dating, courtship, marriage, keeping your heart pure, and saving yourself for your future spouse. Well, in part four of the series, I’m going to talk about some of the things that we, as Christians, need to look for in a godly spouse. I’m going to mention certain things that we need to be thinking about concerning possible future life mates. Now before you jump all over me and say that I’m contradicting everything I already said because I’m now advocating thinking about those of the opposite sex, listen carefully to what I’m about to say: In no way do I think that we should spend our days pining for that “special someone” that we think might be the one to marry (see part three). What I’m saying is we need to think about some of the Biblical requirements and things that are important to have firm standards on when it comes to considering a future spouse.


Growing up, I was your typical American boy. If it flew, I tried to catch it; if it ran, I tried to beat it; if there was a puddle, I was in it. And as all typical boys quite adamantly profess in the foolishness of youth, I also had absolutely no intention of EVER getting married! No sir! I thought it was gross, grown-up nonsense (even though I was quite content to be living on the earth as a result of my parent’s marriage! :-P A bit ironic, eh?) But as I grew a bit older, girls didn’t seem quite so weird. Okay well yeah, they did, but not like “you’re-a-girl-you-must-be-an-alien” kind of weird. I’m sure I was probably still just as weird to girls though; I have to admit, I was quite obnoxious back in my earlier years…okay that’s not for now! ;-) So, they weren’t quite as alien-like as I first imagined them to be. As I got older and entered my early teen years, things REALLY changed! No longer was I adamantly opposed to getting married. Actually, I sort of wanted to someday! I couldn’t figure this out. I started noticing young ladies and seeing things I had never seen before. There were actually a few that were kinda pretty! They didn’t seem so bad, even though they still weren’t all that interested in snake hunting, getting dirty, or having burping contests (okay, sorry for the graphic details!).


So why do I include that detailed account from my past love life? Well, because I want to make a very crucial point. Most people, male and female, have a desire within them to be married someday, to have someone to be there for them, someone special. It hit me like I bullet! I didn’t know when it started, but all of a sudden it was just there. Most of us have that desire! It’s natural, God put it there, and Lord willing each of us will one day have a wonderful spouse and a nice family. But before you have the spouse, you sort of have to…well, find one! So this is what I will address in part four.


What do you look for in a godly spouse and what things should you keep in mind? Well based upon God’s Word, I believe there are several things that you should take into careful consideration when pondering what you should look for in a possible future spouse. Unfortunately, I have spent in years past a great deal of time focusing on the outward beauty rather than the inward character, so hopefully this post can help some of you avoid that tendency.


The first thing that I believe one must require for a possible spouse is that he/she be a Christian. This is a MUST. Let me say that again: THIS IS A MUST!!! There is absolutely no room for compromise in this area. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” But what if I really love him and I want to marry him so that I can win him to Christ? Absolutely not!!! There are so many people that use this excuse, only to find themselves involved in a messy, devastating divorce and filled with heartache in the end. Christ commands us to not be joined together with unbelievers and it is of the utmost necessity that a spouse be a Christian.


Second, the future spouse needs to be someone who will meet the Biblical requirements for a husband or a wife. They need to know what those requirements are and be committed to instilling them into their lives. Ephesians chapter five, continuing into chapter 6, greatly describes the Biblical roles of man and wife. Scripture clearly defines that the man is to be the leader of the home, the provider, and the protector. He is the spiritual head of the family (1 Cor. 11:3). Not a lord-it-over dictator, but a servant leader. One who loves his wife as much as he loves himself, one who nourishes her and cherishes her (Eph. 5:28) He is to provide spiritually and physically for his family; he is to be the spiritual teacher for his wife and children; he is to care for his children and train them in the ways of the Lord. The wife is to be a helpmeet for her husband. She is to be submissive to her husband and honor his God-given authority in the home. No, I don’t think that the wife is a slave. I believe that God gave each the husband and wife specific roles and instructions and when they are followed, the husband and wife join together in harmony to accomplish God’s purpose for their lives and their marriage (read Ephesians 5 for more on that). The wife, likewise, is to teach and train her children along with the husband. I believe from Scripture that the place for this is the home (Deuteronomy 6). There is so much to be said in the regard of Biblical roles, but for time’s sake I will stop here. This can give an idea, however, of some of the things Scripture says of a Biblical husband and wife. Again, Ephesians five is a wonderful passage for examination in regards to the Biblical roles and responsibilities of a godly husband and wife.


Next, I believe that when thinking about what you need to look for in a spouse, you should look for someone that shares the same vision. What I mean by vision is having a Biblically based plan for your life, which continues on into the marriage relationship. I have a vision for my life and ultimately it is to glorify, obey, and honor Christ with my life and to give Him all adoration and praise for what He has done in my life. As far as a future wife and family are concerned, my vision is to find a godly, virtuous woman that will come together with me to raise our children who not only will honor Christ, but also desire to raise their own future families to do the same. Unfortunately, so many people have such short-sighted goals for their lives and the lives of their children. Many families are content to simply make sure their own children are saved and walking with the Lord when we ought to be striving to instill in children the desire to have their own families and pass on the faith from generation to generation. Where there is no vision, the people perish (Prov. 29:18). We wonder why the church and Christianity are perishing. The family has lost its vision.


Another important thing to look for is similarity in convictions and doctrine. Now I think there is a little bit of room here for discussion because you are never going to find someone that you absolutely, one hundred percent agree with on every single issue there is to agree on. There are some things that there will be differences of opinion. Does that mean that the one little difference should keep a possible courtship from occurring? Here is what I believe about this. I believe that there are certain things that can be talked about and examined when it comes to possible differences; others can’t. For me, one thing that is an no-compromise issue is homeschooling. If there is a wonderful young lady that I agree with on everything else, but she doesn’t want to homeschool and won’t even consider the possibility, then that would be a show-stopper. If there are some minor differences, I believe that things like that can be worked out as the two individuals search the Scriptures together, as long as the two are willing to look at God’s Word with an open mind and be sensitive to the Lord’s leading. If there are conflicting opinions with apparent Scripture to back both convictions, then they can examine God’s Word together and see if they can come to an agreement. However, I will say this in regards to how much should be looked at together between a young man and a young lady. A lot of the doctrinal discussion should take place first between the young man and the lady’s father. The father will know whether or not any possible differences can be resolved or whether or not they can’t. The father will know (and if he doesn’t he should!) what his family and his daughter believes so that he could know whether or not a courtship would even work. If there are things that aren’t major and can be worked out between the two, then I don’t see any reason why they couldn’t enter into a courtship if they feel the Lord leading in that direction. Once again, courtship is the time of determining whether or not a guy and a girl are right for each other, keeping in mind the fact that they don’t know for sure whether or not that particular person will end up being their spouse. They are still guarding their hearts.


Those are some of the things that we need to contemplate when it comes to thinking about what we should look for in a spouse. As I mentioned before, the first thing I used to look at was the outward appearance. If I saw a pretty girl and she was a Christian, I thought, “Hey, there’s a good one!” But, I didn’t think a thing about such things as doctrine, homeschooling, music, and any other number of standards that are important to think about in regards to a possible future spouse. Now I can thankfully say that things are much different! Just to clarify, I DON’T want to give the impression that every time I meet a girl or see one that I know I immediately start “evaluating” them. It’s not like I’m always worried about whether or not any particular person that I know will make me a good spouse! I don’t feel that it is the time yet for me to seriously start thinking about any one special person, so I do my best not to think about it. What I DO think about is what I need to look for in a future spouse, not who I need to look for. The Lord will bring that special person into my life in His perfect timing, and until that day, my desire and focus needs to be on God and on Him alone. Ultimately it is all in the Lord’s hands and I know that He has a perfect plan for my life, and as I trust Him, He will lead me to that wonderful woman that He has for me!


*Some ideas and information for this post came from Voddie Baucham's book What He Must Be If He Wants To Marry My Daughter. This is a wonderful book about the Biblical qualifications for young men. I highly recommend that book!

59 comments:

Josh said...

Great post! I totally agree. Although I haven't got hit by the "bullet" your refering to, they're still excellent thoughts to think about! Thanks for the encouragment!
In Christ Alone,
Josh

p.s. My reading list is growing :) I would really like to read that book.

Daniel said...

I start evaluating people... :-p But not like that lol, I just like to determine what people believe :D well and their credit history... :-p

Good post as always, what wording does Bauchams use... a multi-generation vision?

Anonymous said...

Where did you get all this info? What declares you're right? I see that you're only 18 and you probably think your know it all, because I highly disagree with you, and do not know where you get all of this from? I go for looks on a girl, and when there is one ugly, she's a loser and no good to me. Seriously, you need to re-think your thoughts/post and probably change it up some. I've read all of these blogs lately, and you people all talk of the same thing, I wonder if you all work together? One blog I read earlier was just weird, something about purity was the title. You need to change man...

Chad

Allison said...

Chad,
Are you a Christian? Just curious.

I know Joshua doesn't mean to come across as knowing everything, he's just sharing things he has learned or has personally been convicted of. All these people that you say post on the same things are not "working together", but have just felt led by the Lord to make some decisions or changes in their lives that are similar.

I do have a few questions for you. Why is outward beuty more important than inward beauty? Is it better to marry someone who is good looking than someone who agrees with your beliefs, convictions, and standards? Where do you find your standards for what kind of girl you want to marry? If you are a Christian, do you disagree with Joshua's point that the person you marry must be a Christian? Would you be willing to marry someone who disagreed with your beliefs if she was "pretty"?

Rachel said...

Wow! Thank for that Joshua! That was right on! I appreciate the fact that so many young men are turning to courtship/purity and it's not just the girls! =:) You gave me a different light on this subject of things to keep an eye out for in a future spouse. I will be passing on the link to this post to a friend of mine as she needs to read this! =:)

Blessings in Christ!
~Rachel~

p.s. - And we all must be doing something right if you can find godly blogs like this everywhere these days Chad! =;) We get it all from the bible and good Christian books! =:)

Caleb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachel said...

Thanks Allison, you said exactly what I wanted to say, but couldn't put into words! =:)

~Rachel~

Daniel said...

Caleb: I would disagree with you on the last part. I'm pretty sure Josh considers it this way and I certainly consider my blog to be an open forum. Now I believe Chad is wrong but still, he has every right as you do to be here. We are called to love everyone :)

Chad: We do appreciate you being here, even though we may disagree, we enjoy everyone's comments. I will and I know Josh agrees with me, not allow flaming on here, but we do like healthy debate.

What do you base your beliefs off of? Josh and most everyone here, including myself, base ours off the Bible. We strongly believe that the Bible is truth, and anything that contradicts that is false. That is where Josh is basing everything, not a feeling or an emotion, but what God has said.

Josh said...

Chad,
Thanks for commenting on here! Thank you also for expressing your thoughts. I also wondered if you are a christian?
If you are not living for Christ, and using the standards He gives us in the Bible, (the inerrant, infalable, and inspired word of God)as guidelines in your life, then:
1. Our opinions and convictions will be different. Very different. Without knowing the Lord, your views are warped and based on your flesh, emotions and faulty logic.

2. You are on dangerous ground. The Bible says "the wages of sin is death." Romans 3:23. And because you have sinned, you deserve death. Your "wage"(payment) for sinning, is spending eternity in the Lake of Fire(Hell). If you die tonight, and you are not a christian, you will be judged accordingly and sent to Hell. God is a holy God and we are sinnful people, the only way we can go to heaven is by believing in Jesus Christ who died to take the price of our sin. He gave his life to take our "wage", the punishment we deserve for our sin, so that if we believe in Him, we will have everlasting life with God in Heaven.

I'm sorry if this seems severe to you. That is my intent at all, but it is the truth. I am genuinely concerned for you and I don't want you to die with out hope. If you have ANY questions, please contact me through my blog and ask away! I will do my best to answer!
Again, thanks for your thoughts. God Bless,
Josh

Anonymous said...

Great points Josh!

I used to think about the outward appearance as well, until the Lord gave me a change of heart, and I realized that the two most important character traits I enjoyed were- a very sold out Christian for the Lord and growing in grace , and then after that they had to be kind-hearted. Those are the most important to me, although there are other qualities that are delightful as well, I tend to focus on those rather than the appearance now.

Another important point as you said if belief likeness and an open heart. Certain things are important like salvation, and others aren't. If there is something you both don't agree on at the moment that is clearly laid out in Scripture, as long as the other person is willing to give it a chance and to delve into the Word themselves to learn more, then I'd say that is good as well.

Anonymous said...

Well, many of you have asked many questions concerning my belief and as well as my comment. I was bothered by many of you, and how one of you was actually trying to force me off this blog. Allison, regarding to your comment, you asked too many questions personally and I would rather go anonymous on all of those. I mostly was fine with both Daniel and Josh's comments. Caleb was a bit hurtful, I do not hold any harsh feelings against you, however please do reconsider how your actions can shy others away, people like me who realize that are lost and do not know my way through life.

I have gone through many, many things, and would really like some one to understand and talk with me, nevertheless, for years I have been closed up because of wrong situations. Josh, I don't know if I am a Christian. I have done so much wrong doing in my life, and sad to say that I'm only 18 myself, and have fallen. I have had many relationships, deep ones, and feel dirty, I can't find myself through this place, I feel alone, dark, rejected and alone. I know that there is a heaven and hell, but where will I go. I don't want my life to end in death, I'm frightened by the fact, and to be honest with each of you, I'm a failure and loser, nothing goes right in my life. I don't go to church anymore because I can't stand the Christians, they are so hurtful, so disturbing and stuck up. I have been on a blog before, and this girl talked about saving your first kiss, and also the dangers of flirting, as well as her own testimony of how Christ saved her. I want to find this blog again because it helped me, and this blog as well has been hurting me inside because I fear it's true. Have any of you found a blog as the one I mentioned? I'm sorry for me breaking down here and letting go, first time in years. I would prefer comments only kindly, understandable, and preferbably only from guys at the moment.

Chad

Daniel said...

That blog is maidenofpurity.blogspot.com

Trust me we have all screwed up majorly, maybe some people have not made "big" mistakes, but I know I have done some really stupid stuff. Quite frankly though if we sin just once, we are fallen in God's eyes. The awesome thing though is that Christ died for those sins (not everyone's sins but we can discuss that later). Christ has the power to help make your life straight Chad, though it certainly won't be easy. You will probably have to let go of people, certainly some people won't like you anymore, you will have to change what you do with your time. I won't lie to you, you WILL face persecution, maybe it will just be ridicule but it will come. God can take away all that dirtiness, all those failures, everything. You will still sin, we all do, even as sons and daughters of God we still fall, we are still "bound" by the flesh. The thing is though before we are saved we have no power to do good, nothing we do can please God, all is sin, but once we are saved, then we can do good, God has changed our hearts, He has made us a new creation. Like I said we still fall, but we can do good now. The whole book of Romans lays it all out really well.

To be honest I'm glad that what you have read in both blogs has been hurting you, it's a good sign, it shows that you are unhappy with where you are in life. Unfortunately we cannot go back and redo what we have already done, there are some things I have done that I wish I could change but I can't, but Christ has the power to forgive those sins and make you a new creature.

I hope this helped... my email is lotrstarwarsaafan@gmail.com if you would rather talk over that, my blog you can find through my profile on here. I can get you some fairly good resources for finding a good church if you are interested too.

Daniel

Paulina said...

I am so happy I read this post because it is so well written. Rachel from the Young Homemakers blog shared this link with me because I was struggling with some of these things.

It is so important to know what you want in a spouse so that you won't ever settle for anything less. God is faithful to us and He will provide a spouse for us that is as committed to Him as we are and that shares our similar beliefs and convictions.

Anonymous said...

Daniel,

Thanks once again for you kind words of great encouragement. I realize now that when I first came on this blog, I was being rude and judging Joshua for posting his post. The bottom and basic line is, that I didn't like it because it is probably hitting a nail, something I don't want to change. It's great to hear from your perspective, another guy having struggles just as myself. I have fallen and it looks as if you have done the same. Actually, I would rather not email you because I want to call this case over as of now. I'm going on a 6 month vacation tomorrow, to a place alone and hope to find God-again. You have been a great help, and have opened doors once again, I believe all of this was a coincidence that I came on this blog. Finding it through the blog I mentioned, Maiden of Purity, and hearing other strong Christian guys as yourself. Perhaps someday I will see eye with you and Joshua and all the others, as of now I'm just so glad that you have laid things out the way you did. This vacation I'm going on was meant for a reason, even I didn't know it until today. Thanks again Daniel.

Chad

Daniel said...

I'm glad that God used me in your life. You have my email if you want it.

Daniel

Josh said...

Hi Chad,
First, You are asking yourself excellent questions. Getting down to issues and being honest is the best way to approach the situation! And I understand your fear of dying, I have felt the same way, before I came to know the Lord. These questions and fears you have can't be taken lightly and you mentioned that you wanted to talk to someone who would understand.
I would love to talk with you anytime you want. Please know that I'm here for you, I am willing to listen and help you. I won't judge you at all. The Bible says: "All have fallen short of the glory of God". We've all screwed up!

God is getting to your heart and calling you to himself. There IS hope for you! Feel free to talk with me at tkregan10@gmail.com.
I look forward to what God is doing in your life.
God Bless you,
Josh

Have a blessed vacation!

Anonymous said...

We'll all be praying for you Chad, that you will find God, the one you're soul is longing for.

Nobody is ever too sinful for God to save. Feeling remorse, shame, unworthiness, and guilt is all part of what the Bible calls Godly sorrow that leads to repentance. We are all unworthy of God's love, but even so He wants to save you, and I pray that you will not resist God.

Caleb said...

@Chad: Wow. God is really working on me in this area in my life. Recently I've been dealing with lots of people recently that are just coming to cause trouble... I made an assumption that you were another person, and I was wrong. I should not be making assumptions about peoples' actions and motives, and I also need to be kind, even to those who are trying to cause trouble. I could throw out a bunch of explanations for my actions, just like my sinful nature wants, and I could try to justify why I said what I said, but the truth is, I was wrong, and I should not have spoken in that manner. Please forgive me, Chad.

I would love to talk to you more about salvation, and I am limited on my team these coming weeks, but hopefully--no, not just hopefully, I am sure-- that there are lots of people here that can at least assist you through it. Send me an email. bigfatlizard1312 [at] yahoo [dot] com. I will be praying for you, and I also pray that you will accept my apology and forgive me for my wrong actions.

Joshua said...

Hello everyone, wow, a lot has really gone on the past couple of days! In case any of you were wondering why I haven't responded, I have been out of town over the weekend serving as a teacher for a children's program in a statewide conference. Thank you to all who have chimed in and responded to Chad's questions. I would greatly echo the advice that many of you gave and I appreciate what you all have said. I have a few comments and hopefully I can help reinforce what my friends here have said without basically repeating what everyone has already said! :)

Chad, I don't know if you will be able to see this any time soon, but if so, please take this to heart. We're both young and I will be the first to admit (and I think you would agree) that we have so much more to learn in life. Anyway, I am VERY glad that you are here! Part of my purpose is to challenge and encourage my friends, but I also want to be a witness for Christ and share the Truth of God's Word to all I can.

With that being said, I will give my 2 cents, but it may end up being about 3 cents when it's all said and done! :-P

As has been mentioned before, we (the bloggers) are only "working together" in the sense that we are all Christians and are striving to follow the ways of the Lord and are trying to encourage others to do so as well. That is part of what we are called to do as Christians. Also, as you have probably come to realize by now, I can't recant anything I have said because to do so would be a compromise. Part of my responsibility as a follower of Christ is to search out God's truths in the Bible and live by them. There is absolutely no way that ANYONE will ever be able to abide by God's laws perfectly, but Jesus tells us to strive to be like Him, and that's what I try to do with all my heart and strength.

The reason why people have asked questions is because they want to understand where you are coming from. We can say what WE think is right and you can say what YOU think is right until we are both blue in the face, but it's not going to prove anything if we don't have reasons. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you not answering the questions if you don't feel comfortable doing so and we will all respect that decision! :)

I don't harbor any hard feelings against you for your disagreements or your prior attitude because I have done the same thing before with other people. As I've said before, I'm glad you are here and I eagerly pray that through this blog, perhaps you will find peace in salvation through the free gift that God offers.

Joshua said...

I likewise have made some very, very stupid mistakes and I think it is because of those mistakes and failures that drives me with such a passion for topics and issues such as purity, courtship, etc. Not only do I want to attempt to help others avoid some of the problems that I have had, but I also want to encourage others who have also made mistakes that there is something better and greater to strive for. I/we don't hold ourselves better than you because we are all sinners and have fallen short of God's glory. The Bible says that our righteousness (or the good things that we do) is like filthy rags, and what that means is that the good things we try to do are utterly worthless. Our deeds can't do anything to get us into heaven. The only way that we can be saved and become children of God is by repenting of our sins, believing on the Lord and confessing that He is truly Lord of our lives, and accepting His FREE gift of salvation. I have a feeling, and you yourself admitted, that you have been having feelings in you heart that this could be true. Let me encourage you, PLEASE DON'T IGNORE THOSE FEELINGS!!! I rejoice that doors have been opened for you and I am excited about what the Lord has begun to do in your heart! I/we may never know what happens in your life; it could be weeks, months, years, or eternity before we ever know what happens in this situation, but know that I will commit to praying for you until I find out. If I don't in this life, I will still pray! If I do, I will rejoice with you! Get a Bible and study it. God's Word is the ultimate source of Truth and it is there that you will find the answers you have in your heart.

I know I'm being very long, but I have one more thing to say, and it is that I am grieved that you have received judgment and prideful attitudes in the past from people at churches. I know the criticism that you feel and it cuts me to my heart that people in the church have such hard feelings. Please know that it is not all like that. I will admit to you that I myself have been convicted in this area recently. I have often felt feelings of resentment for people that don't believe the way I do and I have been prideful, thinking that I was always right. Oh how wrong I was! Though I may not agree with everyone, Christian or not, I am told in the Bible to love everyone and show Christ's love to all men. I am very sorry you have received such treatment from churches and I know that all of us here are striving to show Christ's love to all we come in contact with. I truly care about you and all who the Lord brings into my life. Like I've said, I don't know if you will be able to see this any time soon, but if so, know that we are praying and that we truly care! May God bless you and keep you as He works in your life and as He moves your heart.

Joshua said...

Chad had asked that only guys respond to this and I am very grateful to you all for respecting that request. If any girls now have other comments, please feel free to post, but please continue to honor Chad's request and let's leave any further discussion concerning Chad's questions/comments to the guys. Thank you all once again!

Josh said...

Joshua, You spoke the words for me! I just couldn't get my thoughts from mind to comment form! Thanks for expressing your thoughts, I agree 100%!

Chad, I'm still praying for you...

In Christ Alone,
Josh

Michelle said...

Another Excellent post, Joshua! You are right on and worded everything so well. Keep up the awesome posts! :)

Southern Maiden said...

Hey Josh, I have a question. First, I wanna say that I'll be praying for Chad, that God will direct him on the right path.

Wow, compared to all the deep comments, this question seems kinda useless... kinda shallow, but anyway... I know that we girls want a husband to love us and protect us and be our adoring defender. We want someone who'll think the world of us... But, why do guys want a wife? Is it because y'all want someone to love and protect, or because you want someone to support you and to listen to your fears and dreams? A lot of guys I see just mainly want a wife that's gorgeous. And that's soooooooooo shallow. Few actually want a godly wife with the same standards as they, but I know there's more godly guys that HAVE GOT to be different. So, why do guys want a wife?

Daniel said...

Well I certainly want a wife who is gorgeous... :-p Which yes sure, physical is part of the deal, but it is something that I don't think about in a way. For me I guess it just is and I don't make it a qualification really idk. For me at least, I do want someone to be there for me always. To be able to talk to about everything, to give me advice or comfort, to help me raise a godly family, make me happy when I'm sad, and most importantly to encourage me in my walk with God, and challenge me in that and really everything. Challenge in a good way lol. I want someone to share life with, and enjoy everyday that God gives us. I could go on, but hopefully that answers the question. And yes, same standards is a must, but I guess thats a requirement and not what I want "out of her". Oh and I suppose I do want her to think the world of me too. This is a bit off topic I suppose but kinda applies. In my opinion you should think that your spouse is the most attractive person out there, I think of it in terms of mostly the guy thinking that of the girl but it should work both ways.

Hope that works,
Daniel

Southern Maiden said...

Yeah that was helpful! lol... thanks Ü

Joshua said...

Well, as "shallow" as you may think the question seems, it is really a loaded question! There is so much that runs through my mind when I think about why I want a wife. I think in today's culture and unfortunately in a great deal of the church, most men want a wife for only physical, selfish reasons as primary, leaving the spiritual reasons as secondary (thanks to the pervasive philosophies of Hollywood and such!). While I think physical attraction plays a tremendous role, I believe that there is so much more to why a man should want a wife. There are many personal reasons why I want a wife and I think Daniel pretty well summed up why a guy wants a wife in that regard, but there are also Biblical reasons why I want a wife. I guess the main Biblical reason why I want a wife is because I want a family. Now at first you may seem like, “Okay, hello, DUH!!! But think about it! Over and over again in the Bible, we see marriage as a very sacred union and it is through marriage and families that God raises up godly generations to advance His kingdom and spread His Gospel. Also, in both the Old Testament and the New Testament, God instructs parents to teach and train their children and yes, even their grandchildren in the ways of the Lord. We are commanded to pass on the faith from generation to generation. It would be quite difficult to do that if you don’t have a family to begin with; and it would be quite difficult to have a family if you don’t have a wife! (If you’re a man, that is…yeah, anyway!) :-P So, one of the reasons why I want a wife is so that she and I can have a family and train our children in the ways of the Lord so that they likewise can have families of their own and continue the heritage of faith. Again, I realize that not everyone is called to marry, but generally people marry. Marriage may not be what God has for every single person, but He has another special plan for those people. Another reason why I want a wife is because I just can’t help it! Now again, that may seem like a really cheesy answer, but that’s just the way it is! God has placed in me the desire to have a wife, for the Biblical reason I gave, and also for personal reasons. I want someone that is special to me alone, someone I can call mine, someone I can talk with about anything, anywhere, any time. I desire someone to encourage and to encourage me; someone to love and to love me; someone to joke with, learn with, grow with, laugh with, and even cry with! Yes, I want a woman that will love and adore me as well, but I want that to be based on the man I am, not just because I might have good looks or charming personality…ahem… lol! ;-) To sum it up, I heartily agree with God when He looked at Adam and said that is isn’t good for man to be alone! I’m in the alone stage right now and I’m eagerly anticipating the day when I can get my extra rib back! Haha! :-)

Southern Maiden said...

HAHAHAHA!!! Yeah my family and I always joke that when you find the person God has specifically planned for you, the girl has her guy's missing rib! So they'll fit perfectly as a couple... if they're who God planned for you to marry. Don't know how I got off on THAT subject! But, thanks, y'all's answers were encouraging and just what I hoped!

Daniel said...

I do kinda wish God had made guys to have one less and girls to have one more :D but alas...

John Smith said...

So Joshua, you wrote this from a guy's perspective. Also, their was a question asked by a girl about why a man wants a wife. I'm curious...What is it about a man that makes a woman want him to be her husband? What would make a girl NOT consider a man to make a good husband? What is important to a girl when she is thinking about why she wants a husband? Perhaps some of the girls could give their perspectives?

Allison said...

John Smith,
I believe the purpose of marriage is to honor and glorify God and bring godly offspring to teach and train in the ways of God. So I desire to marry someone who not only is a Christian, but who is a strong believer and is determined to teach and train his children to fear the Lord—and who is committed to having as many children as God gives. The type of man I want to marry is someone who will be my provider and protector. Someone who will lead boldly in love with vision and direction. Someone who will take the place of my father by taking care of me in the same way.

You asked "What would make a girl NOT consider a man to make a good husband?" Hmmm...
-Disrespect toward parents and other authority
-No gentleness towards his mother and sisters
-No love for children
-No desire to have meaningful conversations
-Weak understanding and ability to biblically refute the lies from our culture
-Hates learning
-Procrastinator
-Doing things to get attention or appear “cool”

These are just some thoughts off the top of my head.
I’m not claiming to be perfect in any of these areas or that I’m looking for a perfect husband! I’m also not saying that if any guy demonstrated any of the things I listed above that they will make a terrible husband! I hope I don’t come across that way. There’s always room for improvement and change—in all of us!

I don't have time to add any more, so hopefully what I said made sense! ;)

Southern Maiden said...

When a man cares for a woman and protects her, it lets her know she's valuable to him. When he loves her and plays the man's part, while letting her play the woman's part, when he "mans up" and takes the lead, it lets her know that he respects her and honors her as a female. And when a guy respects a girl, it will make her want to respect him back. If she doesn't, she needs a few lessons in godly femininity, and shouldn't be considered as of yet. (I'll admit, I myself am not even CLOSE to that mark of a ready, prepared maiden!) And when a man has a humble and meek spirit, it will make his wife confident in him, and in herself. When a guy is the head of the home, and financially supports his family, it gives stability, and ladies WANT a man who can stand firm. Now, I think it's OK if a woman wants to stay home, or if it's fine with the husband if she has a home-business, but that's a whole other story.
All these things are what a woman desires - it's instilled in our hearts - to be honored, loved, respected, and protected. And when a man is truly a man, a man serving the King, he will show forth these qualities. Also, it's just what every girl wants... I, for one, want a man who will adore me and think the world of me as an individual. Someone who will want me to be there for him, who will open up to me and tell me his fears and darkest secrets. When a woman has her husband's trust, she doesn't need diamonds or jewels, marble halls or a crown... because she'll have the most precious thing in the world - her husband's heart. Also, when a guy is proud and macho, as in *ahem* "I'm too good to go and play hide-and-seek with the little kids". Ugh!!!
Here's something else - when a guy is, haha, arrogant, that turns off a girl's interest automatically... unless she doesn't prize herself as highly as she ought. And when a man is irresponsible. Wow.... that's a big one. When he doesn't know how to be decisive. A wise man will build his home on firm ground, not wavering, uncertain ground. Rememebr - women want that firm security that can only come from a wise husband. Someone who takes pride because he's knowledgeable in the sinful ways of the world is just.... Ugh! Forget you! (whoever you are) Someone without strong character about him is a big "NO". I desire someone with a never-give-up attitude. There's that security thing again. We need and desire someone who hopes and has faith, even if the worst is to come. Someone who knows the victory is ours in Christ Jesus and knows that we shouldn't wallow in self-pity. Someone who disprespects his mother and sisters - like Allsion said - is another big no. If he doesn't protect them and respect them, he won't respect and protect his future wife. This is a great example. I'm always watching how a guy treats his female relations before I even consider him to be a true friend.
A godly woman will want a man that displays all the characteristics of Christ. Now, I am NOT saying you have to be just like Him - that's impossible. Ü But loving a wife like Christ loved the church - that IS possible, and it's... perfect. (at least in my eyes!) But the Bible mainly tells men to love their wives, just like it tells wives to reverence their husbands. Godly characteristics is the main thing a godly girl will want in a husband... it's what she'll be searching for.
Like Allison said, if you guys are any of the "bad" qualities, I'm not trying to tear you down. There's room for change, there's time. All the bad qualities listed are stated bad by God's Word anyway, so I hope you'd WANT to change! If you possess one bad quality, it will not make you a terrible husband - my Mom and Dad have one of the best marriages I've EVER seen, but they BOTH have their faults. You should always be eager to learn how to become more like Christ. Ü I hope the answers were helpful, as it came straight from a girl! Ü

Daniel said...

Question, do you want your husband to always ask your opinion before deciding on things?

Katie said...

Question, do you want your husband to always ask your opinion before deciding on things?
Daniel,
Yes and No. For one thing I would like my husband to ask my opinion or at least inform me before making a decision. On the other hand he is to be the leader of the home and making decisions is part of being a leader. He should be able to make a good decision without feeling the need to ask me. Some subjects would be more important to me then others.
~Katie

Allison said...

Daniel,
My sister (Katie) conveyed my thoughts exactly. :)
I like to know what's happening and wouldn't like it if my future husband always made decisions without at least letting me know beforehand. ;) But I wouldn't expect him to ask me before making any decision!

Daniel said...

Ok, yea, I don't mean which color socks he is going to wear that day, unless you require a certain color... :-p

Anonymous said...

Hey,
I came across this blog today and read your post. I have a few questions the guys about what they would want from their wife.
Joshua, I know you said that your wife must want to home school. Period. That would require her to stay at home. So would you guys reading this be opposed to your wife wanting to work? When you have kids, great. Your wife should then stay at home. What about before that? Assuming you don't start having kids immediately, does she just stay home cooking and cleaning or does she work?
I personally would want to work or at least have several jobs I could do from my home because I hate being idle. Also, in case you haven't noticed, our economy isn't very conducive to a one-income family. Would it make you feel insignificant or like you can't do your job if your wife wants to work before kids?
Also, would a girl that is working be a turn off just because she has a job before she's married?
One more question. Will you want your wife to have a degree? Would you be opposed to marrying someone just because they went to a typical four-year college? I know some extremist girls that think that getting a degree is entirely unnecessary, and some that have "graduated" without fulfilling all the state requirements. If you home school your kids, then, will you be able to teach them everything they need to know?
Sorry these are long winded and detailed. I do not want to cause problems. I'm a home schooled senior, and have begun working on a degree via testing out of classes and some online from a state college. My family is conservative, and I have 7 siblings. I know of a several girls over 25 that aren't married and would like to be, don't have degrees and are wishing they did something different. I don't want to regret my single years but spend them serving God in a way that I can the best. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, but I need to figure it out soon. All that to say, I just want to know people's opinions to keep in mind (along with prayer) for my future. I would love to get married and don't want to do anything that would turn some guy off!
I would appreciate replies from guys especially, but girls almost as much. Some success stories would be nice too... :)
Kyla Reegan

Daniel said...

First thing, don't worry about "turning off" guys, do what you feel God is leading you to do, and be able to answer for that. As in if necessary provide scripture and such. Before we have kids, so long as everything at home is being taken care of, and that doesn't mean she will be the only one doing house stuff, it will be shared but that is her area. I have no problem if she wants a job, it won't bother me if she gets a higher salary, she might just be smarter than me... :-p Degree-wise i don't really care either way, if she feels after prayer and seeking wisdom from her parents and such, that a degree is the best thing for her to do that's great. Some people (guys or girls) aren't meant to go to college, maybe because they should go into a trade, or they can get a good job without "official" training.

I think it's great when wives have stay at home jobs,provided it doesn't interfere with the home, I think its a wonderful opportunity.

I think something that is very important to remember is that you are not so much preparing to get married, yes some thing benefit you in that, but you are preparing to serve God. Yes, many people are meant to be married, but not everyone is, and I'm not saying you are one of them but you need to keep your eye on preparing for what God has for you now, not what might be. Thats for both guys and girls btw, if that wasn't obvious lol.

Hope that helps, and don't worry you aren't causing problems
Daniel

Leah said...

Kyla,

What kind of sucess stories are you asking about? Could you specify?

I think having a degree is wise preparation...provided, as Daniel said, that you're following God's will for your life as well as being under your parent's authority. You most definitely should complete the requirements of the state you're living in before you graduate to be above reproach from the school system. But you've probably done that if you're already working on college stuff. Just out of curiousity, are you taking CLEP tests and doing online classes from TESU in NJ?

I'll be praying for you to have wisdom as you make prepare for your future and follow God's will for your life.

Leah

Moriah said...

I awarded you!

Katie said...

Wow. I just found your blog and I just finished reading this four part series, and I honestly can't think of one thing I don't agree with you on. I have one whole blog for these type of posts, and after a few weeks of it, I am seeing more and more topics that I need to cover. I can't believe what our generation has come to, it truly breaks my heart. It's great to see people standing for God in a world full of sin. Amen! And keep up the good work!

Katie M.
www.katiemarie2003.blogspot.com
www.those-who-wait.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Leah and Daniel, thank you for replying. I thought from all the discussion on previous topics that more people would have put in their opinions...

I'm sorry I wasn't clear. I would really like to hear some success stories of courtship. I believe the model is correct, but haven't seen it work. All I've ever seen is failed attempts. Also, no offense, but most of the people I know look at me like I'm from Mars if I say the work courtship...which I realize isn't normal, but I would think a few more people would at least have some idea? I guess I should send them all to read these posts. :) Also, if anyone has done college from home and done well I would like to hear that as well. I'm the only one that I know is going this direction and it's discouraging to have constant comments from friends and family.

Yes, I am Cleping and taking classes from Thomas Edison State University, I assume that's what you meant? Are you familiar with that?

Kyla

Leah said...

Hey Ya'll,

Joshua requested that I comment to tell everyone that he hasn't been on the computer and won't be until Sunday, and will respond to comments then! (Btw, I'm Joshua's sister. :)

Leah

Zac said...

Kyla,


I have a friend that courted a guy about, oh, 3 years ago. It was her first courtship and about a year or so later they got married. During the courtship they would go to movies and talk but they did not ever hold hands until they were engaged, they felt as though that would develop a more intimate relationship which would cloud judgement. The guy owns a landscaping business and after they were married she went to work with him in his business. Now she is pregnant. So I would call this a success.

Joshua said...

Hi Kyla,
Sorry I’ve taken so long to respond! As my sister said, I haven’t been on the computer all week, so yeah, anyway…
I don’t know that I necessarily have a problem with my wife working before kids, but it would depend on the kind of work. My preference is that it would be within the home and there is so much that a homemaker can do from the home as far as a “job” per se. No, I don’t think a woman should just sit around at home idle either, but I don’t think it would be all that appropriate for my wife to be working outside the home in the business world. The reason I say this is because my wife will be under my authority and I have responsibilities to her, one of which is protection. Now, I’m not going to be an authoritative dictator and shut my wife up in the closet or anything like that, but one of the dangers with women working is that they are under a different authority when they’re in the work place and are exposed to a great number of dangers. Ultimately, the place for the woman is the home and I haven’t found a Scripture yet that makes an exception for married women that may not have children yet. These are my convictions right now; obviously I haven’t been in this situation yet so my experience is none right now! I know things are going to be different for everyone because the Lord works differently in everyone’s lives. But at this point, when considering the fact that my wife working outside the home would expose her to many other dangers, I don’t know that it would be the best thing for my wife. My motivation wouldn’t be selfishness, it would be a desire to take every precaution to make sure my wife is protected. Again, this is my preference, but if my future spouse is working before we get married, I don’t think it would be something that would “turn me off.” Before a woman is married, she will still be under her father’s authority and so everything in regards to working will be up to her father’s discretion. And as a side note, it’s going to be in the Lord’s hands as far as children are concerned. Children are a blessing from the Lord and if it’s His will that my wife and I start having children right off, I’m not going to stop that from happening. It may not even be an issue whether or not my wife works before we have children if the Lord chooses to bless us quickly! 
No, I wouldn’t feel “insignificant” so to speak, but it is the husband’s responsibility to provide, so the aspect that the economy isn’t conducive to a single-income family isn’t really even a factor to me. It is a given that I will be the provider for my family and I know that I will need to do whatever it takes to make ends meet. I don’t know that the economy will ever get much better (especially with our current president) but even if it gets worse I know that it is my duty to provide. One of the things that I’ve purposed NOT to do is go into debt. Income goes so much further when there is no debt to drain it away. When right decisions are made financially, it takes away a whole lot of unnecessary anxiety that financial pressures can bring.

Joshua said...

(continued)
As far as my wife’s education goes, no, I wouldn’t be opposed to marrying someone who went to a typical 4-year university, but I wouldn’t be opposed to marrying someone who hasn’t gone to college or even gotten a degree. The important thing to me is not schooling; it is education, and there is a HUGE difference between the two. Education is so much more than a mere data dump of information, which is basically what schooling is. Yes, education includes the academics, but it also includes the Biblical worldview, apologetics, politics, and things that will truly make competent, prepared individuals. I am so grateful to my parents because they have not only provided me with excellent academic preparation, but they have also educated me in many more ways than what the culture calls “school.” I think that it is wise and important for young men to have degrees because of the necessity in the workforce. I think it’s unfortunate that you pretty much have to have that piece of paper in order to get a decent job, but it’s wise for young men to get a degree because the men will one day have families of their own and will need to be able to provide. For my daughters, it will be important that they be able to teach and train their children one day as well, so I wouldn’t put any less effort into their educations. As far as a degree goes for them, I’m not there yet! ;-) I think that’s one question that will be answered as time brings me closer to that decision. By the way, I want to give the impression that it won’t be my wife’s sole responsibility to train our children. Scripture is very clear as to the responsibilities of the father and the discipleship of his children. I’m going to be very active in the training of my children, academically and spiritually. It’s not going to be something where I just say, “Here honey, child number 1 is ready for kindergarten, so have fun!!!” No siree!!! I want to be involved! And to answer your question, yes, you can teach your children what they need to know without having gotten a degree.
I really hear what you’re saying about young ladies who are getting older and aren’t married, but I don’t think it’s because they didn’t get their degrees. I think it’s because there aren’t any young men for them to marry. Unfortunately, even among home schooled communities, the young men aren’t being prepared to be husbands and fathers. They’re all off playing at college. No, this isn’t the case with everybody, but it’s sad that there are many young ladies ready for marriage, but there just aren’t young men for them to marry. Somewhere, young men have lost the mindset that they were made to be husbands and fathers and have cast aside the vision for the family. It’s very saddening!
I don’t have any more time to respond right now so hopefully that was helpful! :) Just to let you know, we know many young people who have successfully courted and married and have wonderful marriages and families, and I will try to mention some of those later.
May God bless you as you seek Him concerning His will for your life!

Anonymous said...

What about children, do you believe in large families? Like LARGE, LARGE families??

Daniel said...

Hopefully you don't mind me answering your question too. First off I would like to ask what you mean by LARGE, LARGE. Because to some people thats 8, and to some people that 20. I personally am ok with what ever God chooses to give me. I would like children, and I hope God blesses me with many. If He chooses to give me only one or even none I'm content with that, or if He decides to gift my wife and me (is it me or I?) with 20, praise God. The Bible says in psalms 127 that children are a gift from the Lord and blessed is the main whose quiver is full of them. Though also in the ESV it translates that as blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. Implying, as I'm sure you can tell, that the parents have a part in bringing about this blessing. Either translation shows that kids are a blessing, why would you wish to hinder a gift from God? I think its great when there are big family's, are they always the best behaved? No, but they are (generally) letting God have total rein in that part of their life, and that's an awesome thing. As I know Josh does too, I plan to let God have complete control in how may children my wife and I have.

Hopefully that was clear, and I didn't repeat myself to much...
In Christ,
Daniel

Joshua said...

Amen, Daniel! I would echo everything you said. :) I share the belief that children are a blessing from the Lord. The Bible also says that children are a heritage from the Lord. My wife and I will have as many children as the Lord allows. Why would I want to cut off the Lord's blessings? Sadly, our culture views children as a financial burden or a hinderance, but God's Word says differently. As Daniel said, I also plan to let God have complete control in how many children my wife and I have.

And as a quick note, your perspective on children will determine whether or not a family is "large" or not. If children are seen as a burden, families with more than the typical 1.6 (or whatever it is these days...) kids will be seen as large; if children are seen as a blessing, having many children (8,10, or even 20) will only be considered large by society. In God's eyes, it's normal!

Allison said...

Kyla,
Can you define “success” for me? To you, what would be a successful courtship?

I want to stay under the protection of my father and not “go out” to find a job. Instead, my parents help my sister and I determine our gifts and abilities to help us find in-home businesses we would enjoy. There we can stay under the authority and protection of our dad (and someday our husbands)! :) Presently I’m a senior in high school, taking CLEP tests, and teaching beginning piano. My parents help me with my college level schooling, so I can study the required things still under their direction, guidance, protection and authority. There is so much blessing in staying underneath their umbrella of protection, listening to their counsel and submitting to their decisions! I wouldn't trade it for anything!

The Botkin sisters in So Much More say:“The idea of women going out into the sphere of public industry to compete with men for jobs in the pursuit of “their true potential”, public recognition, prestige, self-fulfillment, and, of course, that paycheck, was pushed by God-hating Marxists who wanted to keep woman out of her natural element, tear apart the family, and destroy Christianity.”

I’m one of those “extremists” who doesn’t think it’s entirely necessary for a girl to hold a college degree. ;) But I am studying to get a degree, because I don’t want to push aside college education if it would be helpful in some way. (I haven’t quite figured out exactly how it will be yet, except that I have to study music theory that I should know and I get to learn about and refute secular philosophies) As for the girls who have are 25 and don’t know what to do, I don’t think that’s a result of not holding a college degree, but rather a lack of vision. If the father has not set a vision for what he desires and expects his daughters to do when they are in his home, finished with “school” and unmarried, their day-to-day lives will lack purpose. (note: I did not say "education" because we should always be learning) I don’t think that having a job will solve the problem. Instead, the daughter needs to pray with her dad to find out how the Lord desires to use her time. Our years of "singleness" should not be lonely, isolated and unproductive, it can be quite the contrary! Not that having a job is a bad way to spend your time, but I don’t think you have to have a productive life. An unmarried daughter who has completed school should be a great blessing to her family, and then to others!

As another resource, I really like the answers Jasmine Baucham gives in this post concerning some of what you’ve mentioned...
http://joyfullyathome.blogspot.com/2009/05/way-to-stay-joyful-at-home-number-six.html

In Christ,
Allison

Zac said...

I would also second (or is it third now) what Daniel and Josh said, and add a little note to it.

It is not our place to decide how many kids we have. If we do "cut off our offspring" at the number WE want. We are then saying that "I am greater then God" deciding our own future, not letting God be in total control. Think about, if God wants you to have 2 kids then he will only give you 2 kids, you don't need to intervene, if God wants you to have 8 kids and at 2 you decide to stop having kids you are separating yourself from Gods will.

Katie said...

I hope y'all don't mind if I give my two cents on this. :-)

My parents had three kids within their first 4 years of marriage and decided that three was enough and did something so that they couldn't have anymore kids. By the time I was 8 or 9 (I'm the middle child), they realized how much of a mistake they had made. It was too late and they were never able to anymore kids. Because of that, my parents made sure to teach us what the bible says about it. By the mistake my parents made, I know first hand just how much you'll lose by taking into your own hands. God decides how many children someone should have, and no one should take that into their own hands. Taking that into your own hands seems a little to close abortion to me. If God wanted you to have another child and you prevent that, you may not be killing your child but you're never even giving them a chance to live. It's such an important thing, that many people take so lightly. I guess because of my parents I've seen how much pain it can cause, and I would never wish that on anyone.

Like I said, just my two cents. :-)

Katie M.

Joshua said...

Wow Katie, great comment!!! I know several people who have done similar things and greatly regret those decisions. I'm sure I can't even begin to know what it's like because my family has never personally dealt with this kind of situation, but I'm sure it must be very hard. However, I also know of a couple families who have not only recognized their mistakes, but have also taken steps to reverse them. I know this may not be an option for everyone because each situation and circumstances are different, but one of the families has been blessed with a son, and another family is expecting even now! God is good! Thank you so much for sharing, Katie. :)

God bless!

Anonymous said...

Do you ever have thoughts that you already know your wife? Me personally, I want to believe this, good post, found you while visiting a girl's blog, and there I read teenagers being active in sexual immorality, and that they should flee from it. Do you know what I'm saying? And have you read that post? That blog is on your blog list. I feel more comfortable to leave a comment on your blog since you're a guy, and she's apparently not! :)

Joshua said...

Yes, I do remember reading that post quite awhile ago, and hey, that's perfectly fine if you want to leave a comment! ;-)

I think that's a question that can be answered differently for different people. One guy I know had thought that a certain girl was "the one" and after a matter of time, she did indeed turn out to be the one God intended for him. I know other guys who right now think they have found the one, and only prayer and the Lord's timing will show that. For me personally, there are times when I think I may have found the one, but there are other times when I'm completely unsure! I'd LIKE to think that I already know who my future wife is, but to be honest, I'm not sure yet, so I don't want to give any false impressions. And also, I don't even know that I WILL know for sure until it is God's time for me to know. I'm not in a place right now where I could provide for a wife (and a family), so I'm just trusting that He will show me when it is His time. Hopefully sooner rather than later though! ;-)

Tara said...

WOW! This is an awesome post, and great discussion. Their are so many different topics, I just want to put my two cents in for all of them :)

@Katie: I know a little how you feel. My mother had 4 abortions before she had me. She also prevented herself from having kids after she had me. Just think of all the brothers and sisters I could have had. About two years ago I was deeply depressed because of this. I learned a lesson then that I would never forget, to live my life in prayer. I pray all day long, bringing everything to God. My parents are not Christian. They support me in my beliefs but are still commited athiest. My grandmother was the one who brought me out of the "whole" to see the light. God has then worked wonders on my heart! :)

I said that I live my life through prayer, and that includes letting God make all my choises. I am going to school for nursing. If God wants me to be a stay-at-home wife and mom (and I hope He does!) then hopefully I can use my healthcare knowledge in our Church and for the good of others. I deffenetly want my children to be homeschooled. I have learned first hand what public/private/Christian school can bring about. I have made many mistakes and hope that my children will never be exposed to them.

As for working before marriage, I do think it leads to sinful activities (in most situations). However if you need to work, having a strong love and faith in Him will lead you around the path of sin.

Sorry for this long post. I saw this post and felt I needed to comment. Sometimes it is good to let it out to fellowship with others!

God Bless!
~Tara

Moriah said...

I awarded you! Great post Josh!

Sophie said...

I just gotta start with....WOW! I just found your blog about a month ago, Joshua, after I found Allison's blog a while before tha, after I started a blog awhile before that...anyway! I just read through your whole courtship series and through all 57 of those comments/discussion! Amen and Amen! I'm sitting here so blessed! I know all this happened way back this summer, but it blessed me now in March:) Amazing how God works! I agree wholeheartedly with all you said in your series, which isn't common for those of us who hold "radical" beliefs:) But then, we're not afraid to be considered "radical" because we are not of the world (John 15:19). As I am also under the protection of a wonderful father who cares for and guides his daughters and the rest of his family, and am homeschooled by an incredible mother who has devoted her life to staying home with us and raising children to love God...I am so encouraged to find likeminded young people! It grieves me how many young people just don't think about these issues at all, but simply accept what the world gives them!
I can't decide which of these comments to respond to, so I'll just try to answer them all succinctly and not go on and on...:)
I am commited to the biblical, multi-generational family as well: The father as the priest, protector and provider. The mother/wife as the helpmeet and caregiver, not because she's a slave, but because it is the highest calling a woman can have! The children--as many as God gives!!!! Whether that is two or twelve...He dictates that, and we are foolish to think that we know best! Adoption is wonderful, and I'm a big supporter...but we'll see what the Lord has! Homeschooling--need I say that I am 100% committed to it??? I agree, it's a deal-breaker:)
I usually feel a need to discuss the courtship thing...but everything I would have said, you said Joshua, so I'll refrain! It's great to hear the things I am passionate about discussed and supported by other young adults!
Blessings to all of you who pitched into this discussion! May God richly bless you and keep you and may we hold fast to those things He and our parents have taught us! Isn't it wonderful that He knows everything about our future and is guiding every step of the way?
What a Wonderful, Mighty God we serve!

Sophie
www.nowiamresolved.blogspot.com

Joshua said...

I'm so glad it blessed you! It's always encouraging how the Lord uses each of us, meager as we may be, to bless others and bring glory to His Name. A big amen to all you have mentioned in your comment! :)

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